Yellowstone’s Beth Dutton is always ready to put up her dukes and throw down.
But when she really wants to deliver a knockout punch, shedoesn’t make a fist,
she just opens her mouth. As anyone who has ever been on the receiving end
of one of her savage burns would tell ya, they sting worse than a cattle brand.
As far back as the premiere of the Paramount Network drama, which returns for the back half of its fifth and final season in November, MVP Kelly Reilly‘s foulmouthed character has been establishing herself as the show’s go-to for priceless putdowns. And no one but no one
is safe. Adopted brother Jamie may be Beth’s favorite target, but when she’s duly inspired, she’ll take aim and hurl an insult at anybody, be they friend or foe, boss or even the governor of Montana.
As we count down to the show’s comeback for its sendoff — and await more intel on the spinoff that will continue the story of the Dutton family — join TVLine as we turn up the heat with a review of Beth’s all-time best burns. Sorry, aloe vera not included with this article.
In “Daybreak,” Beth’s future husband Rip Wheeler makes the grievous mistake of responding to their hookup by inviting her to a music festival. “That’s funny,” she tells him. “I always remember your d–k as being bigger. I guess that’s just the nostalgic in me.” So… that’s a “no” then?
When Jamie needs advice in “Kill the Messenger,” he goes to the absolute last person in the world that he should: Beth. “Yes, I know you’re gay,” she cracks without even hearing her brother’s question, “and no, Daddy will not still love you when you tell him.” At a loss for words, Jamie… well, see above.
In “No Good Horses,” Jamie questions the wisdom of Beth’s decision to take a bath outdoors in front of the ranch hands. In response, she questions whether he possesses any wisdom at all. “Every now and then you say something that makes me think you’re smart,” she snarks, “and then I look at you, and that thought fades.”
Beth makes a lasting first impression on Roarke Morris upon their meeting in “You’re the Indian Now.” “I see the women in this valley have gotten a lot more fashionable,” he says, turning on the charm. “I see Chippendales changed their policy on capped teeth,” she fires back, decidedly not charmed.
In “Cowboys and Dreamers,” Roarke proves that he has no idea who (or what!) he is dealing with when he warns Beth that she’ll be fighting a losing battle if she decides to take on an opponent as big and bad as Market Equities. So she explains their roles thusly: “You are the trailer park. I am the tornado.”
At a contentious meeting with former boss Bob Schwartz and his lackey in “Half the Money,” Beth orders a “double Tito’s, three olives.” Understandably, the waitress is like, “You mean a martini.” Nope. “Martinis have vermouth and are enjoyed with friends,” Beth replies. “I don’t like vermouth, and these aren’t my friends.” Bazinga!